Alenka Kyslik

Though the role of the women in the workplace has changed and morphed into something generally acceptable in most westernized cultures, their acceptance and success in leadership roles is very dependent on the industry in which they are in.

We are not the typical video game development team – at least not in the roles we play. Throughout the spring and summer semesters we had various guest speakers come and speak to us about the professional game development world, and though they all say that it is made up of an eclectic group of people, they also mention that it is very male saturated. Which is only natural for what is typically seen a male saturated market.

As a whole we almost fit to this mold with seventeen team members and only five being female. But the amount of women in leadership roles doesn’t adhere to the industries mold. Our team is separated into six different teams (design, programming, art, music, writing, UI) making six team leads and one project manager, along with three producers. Out of these ten leadership roles six are filed by females. Why not push the stereotype? I quite enjoy spoiling my team with Mario 3D gummies and timbits.

As our game is based around development synthetic dyes, initially I had researched how this all worked, got lost in the chemistry jargon, and moved on to simpler things. This ignorance has recently come back to haunt me.

For one of the minigames the player mixes various chemicals in order to match a target color. For the longest time these chemicals were named “1, 2, 3” etc. which for testing and gameplay purposes was perfect, but for release required a little fine tuning.

As I tend to be a perfectionist, I spent way too much time working on the research. Do you have any idea how may dyes(stains) are used in histology(the study of microscopic tissues)? From my incomplete and quick search – over 40! Which may not be surprising to anyone in the sciences, but for me who really only dabbles in physiology and biology when necessary, I was astounded! And slightly frustrated as dyes for everyday life(fabric, food etc.) and stains for histology are listed together. Forcing myself to read through each dye’s description and sift through the jargon I eventually came up with list of 40 chemicals, or at least chemical like sounding words – alas, historical accuracy must sometimes be compromised. Thank goodness I took Latin.

With only one month left, (eek!)  the list of things to do is pilling up, making it easier to become discouraged and to lose motivation. Unfortunately,  instead of doing work in priority sequence, I have been moving on to the less pressing tasks. Why? Well it’s not because the task is easier(if anything it tends to be more difficult – maybe therein more attractive?), it’s generally because I am more motivated to do the less pressing task. Somewhere in this mess I have lost motivation to do the most pressing task, and I think I might have narrowed it down to three underlying reason behind my motivation.

Passion: If I don’t have passion for the project being worked on, I find it hard to come up with the motivation to do it. I love a challenge and exploring areas I don’t know a lot about, that being said it is sometimes nice to know what I am doing.

People: My next motivation is the people I work with. The more I respect them, enjoy their company, and admire their work ethic, the happier I am working in the project. It never ceases to amaze me how much a difference this makes. Great people make the work enjoyable and are great encouragement those rough patches. On this project I am lucky to work with a lovely team!

Praise: This can come in different forms but usually as a grade or compensation. It is nice to know that I have done a good job and be rewarded for it. Though sometimes I find that this can backfire. If I know that I won’t do well, not matter the effort, I tend to postpone and avoid the project all together. I know my strengths and weaknesses, and have learned through this projected to face them both head on.

Considering I work almost full time and am taking summer courses, I like to think I do a good job of keeping on top of things. But on those occasionally overly productive days, I feel that on a day to day basis I should have done better. It’s too bad that those days tend to fall close to deadlines and crunch times. During other periods why can I not force myself to get out of bed and get things done? Is the snooze button really that appealing? Is all that requires me being awake really that avoidable? And yet, I fool myself into thinking that those few extra minutes will benefit my day.

Well, in the sense that I awake feeling more relaxed than if hadn’t pressed snooze, I guess it benefits me, but in reality, I’m just concocting up an excuse. I find that in order to be productive and disciplined I need motivation, which on a regular basis, not easy to find in a busy schedule. (more in my next blog)

It has now been nine months of continuous motivation, and lately lack thereof. I find the more I force myself to work, the less productive I am. Or rather the stupider I feel. I forget things, take longer to complete tasks, and regularly underestimate the amount of time it will take to complete a task. I think I may have found the solution, and yet during the regular semester I avoid it for fear that I will become addicted to the freedom. Finding a comfortable spot and sitting down with a really good book and a delicious cup of tea.